The keys of early typewriters were, sensibly enough, laid out in alphabetical order. The impetus for change was not exactly the yearning for blistering speed that has brought us together here today, but rather necessity. Early typewriters were mechanical and prone to jamming. The QWERTY layout solved that problem by spreading the popular keys across the Plateau, inadvertently creating an ideal layout for distributing the effort of typing to all ten fingers rather than the traditional hunt and peck method. Progress and fate hand in hand once more.

The left index finger will control the R and T keys, the right index finger will control the Y and U keys.
The left middle finger will control the E key, the right middle finger will control the I key.
The left ring finger will control the W key, the right ring finger will control the O key.
The left little finger will control the Q key, the right little finger will control the P key.